This is not my ceiling
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
