I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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