Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
