OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
