The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm just crazy horny about you
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
