: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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