Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
