her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Randomize
