There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
