I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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