can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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