the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
