They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
