I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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