her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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