We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize