My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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