You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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