It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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