So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
