32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
