She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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