Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
