I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
