why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
you made out with another girl for some wings
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
