You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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