I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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