You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize