I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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