the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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