it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
