Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Randomize