My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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