i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
