Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Randomize
