It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Randomize
