C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
