Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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