alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize