i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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