talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
