how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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