i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
