She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
