dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
