he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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