i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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