Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
