when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
