Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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