Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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