Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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