I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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