the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize