The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
