So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
