Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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