I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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