Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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