she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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