Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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