shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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