i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
