turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
