I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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