We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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