Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
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