I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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