It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
ttyl tear gas
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
My Sexting was not on an AP level
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
