Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
