this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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