I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
