I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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