I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize