I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize