my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
