Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
