They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
